Farewell Witness

Everyone loves a funeral!

Witness Protection Program Social Club is dead and buried. Or at least she’s in a coma for a couple of years. The party was SO GOOD. Once again everyone played great music and again Matt Vaughan was the musical highlight of my night.

A lot of the old school witness kids came out to say goodbye and it was great to see them all. New comers were very disappointed to hear that it was the last one. Here’s hoping Shannon will pull out something great for us in the tradition of Witness when he gets back from overseas in a couple of years.

I was honored to be the showgirl at the last one and I’m so glad that everyone seemed to love the show. Many thanks to my uber sexy back up muscle boys.

Here’s one mobile phone shot taken after the show. I’ll post some better pics when i get them very soon..

Cheers everyone.

Who want’s to see a fat hairy poof in a leotard? You do!

Come to the Witness Gym Bunny party at ROXANNE PARLOUR

Level 3, 2 Coverlid Place, Chinatown on the 22nd of March. Easter weekend. 

It’s the last Witness EVER!,,, 

Marvel as hideous drag queens perform feats of vileness before your very eyes.  See sexy boys wrestling in a pit of live hot cross buns. Be the first to tell your friends that you were still pounding the floor as the lights came up on the last Witness Protection Program ever.

. 

I didn’t expect much and I got exactly that, so it was perfect. I went down to watch the parade in drag and only got sneered at, jeered at, stared at and yelled at by almost everyone present. And I don’t mean in a “we love your culture and are here to enjoy it with you” kind of way. We have a long way to go! So I went home and had another drink.

Then another, and another and added some more lip gloss. 

I arrived at the party at about 11 after striding defiantly through the drunk masses. I was going to say trash but then I thought. No, don’t be like that!

I was handed a Gaydar Fan at the doors by an especially beautiful young beast and promptly threw it in the bins provided. A move which I deeply regretted a few hours later when I was standing in the heat hoping that my extra lip gloss wasn’t a bad move.

Standing in the tightly packed crowd waiting for the 2 o’clock show I complained to my friend that my face was about to melt clean off in the heat and I wished I hadn’t thrown away that fan. Two young poofs turned around and fanned my face ferociously and I had this strange sensation in my bitter and twisted old soul. Thanking them profusely and feeling suddenly very glad I had gone to Mardi Gras I realized I was having an uncharacteristic moment of Gay Pride. Thanks guy’s!!

Then I saw that David Campbel was wearing even more make up than me and I thought. If he can do it then so can I. Cindy Pastel looked fantastic and Dallas was radiant as expected but after that the show looked a bit like drag soup. Some boiling ocean of flailing arms.

I loved Johnie and Paul Mac’s set in City Live and had a good dance in there and enjoyed watching the terror on the face of one of the security guards. 

I missed Olivia because i couldn’t get into the RHI which I wasn’t particularly bothered about. Most people said I didn’t miss much and apparently anyone who encountered her up close was most unimpressed by her Diva antics, with one member of the press later telling me she was a “CUNT”.

Determined the see Cyndi Lauper I arrived in the RHI at about 7. I’m so glad I fought off the urge to go home by chatting to friendly strangers and spiteful bitches. I loved Cyndi’s show and then I loved strolling home across the park, watching the muscle boys in hot pants walking hand in hand across the perfect gay rolling hills.  

Happy Murder Gras! See you next year at the alternative party. 

  After months of organizing a bunch of very busy queers all into the the one room. I think a really incredible event was reborn. I have heard nothing but praise from punters for all the works and effort that went into the event. I had a great time and said some stuff that I really needed to get off my chest. For the most part people received me and thanked me for having the guts to say it. 

Quick and dirty has been a great platform for myself and others to have their work seen by an almost cohesive cross section of the queer community as it is today in Sydney. Thanks so much to everyone who came along to see what we have to offer.  I hope we can bring you something bigger and better next year. And I hope you will all come and see us in our other ventures through the year.  And not to worry,  this wont be the last you hear from me on this subject. I’ll keep you posted.