Thanks to the vile bitch that threw her drink down the front of me on my way to the stage. I hope your ankle still hurts. Next time it’ll be the heel through the top of your foot. I hope you have learnt that when you on our turf you dont fuck with the art because it can kick. 

Stay tuned for some show shots and a video..

The video isn’t so great with some kind of strobe-esqu effect on it but it does become clear in my favorite parts and you get the idea..

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It’s been too long. After a minor technology crisis which saw the unfortunate demise of my former computer I haven’t ben able to keep upto date with the site. I have now begun getting my barrings in my fantastic new macbook and i’m ready for some more action on the site. 

Here is something to start the ball rolling.

This is my show at the Loose Ends Queens Birthday Party.

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Come to the Witness Gym Bunny party at ROXANNE PARLOUR

Level 3, 2 Coverlid Place, Chinatown on the 22nd of March. Easter weekend. 

It’s the last Witness EVER!,,, 

Marvel as hideous drag queens perform feats of vileness before your very eyes.  See sexy boys wrestling in a pit of live hot cross buns. Be the first to tell your friends that you were still pounding the floor as the lights came up on the last Witness Protection Program ever.

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I didn’t expect much and I got exactly that, so it was perfect. I went down to watch the parade in drag and only got sneered at, jeered at, stared at and yelled at by almost everyone present. And I don’t mean in a “we love your culture and are here to enjoy it with you” kind of way. We have a long way to go! So I went home and had another drink.

Then another, and another and added some more lip gloss. 

I arrived at the party at about 11 after striding defiantly through the drunk masses. I was going to say trash but then I thought. No, don’t be like that!

I was handed a Gaydar Fan at the doors by an especially beautiful young beast and promptly threw it in the bins provided. A move which I deeply regretted a few hours later when I was standing in the heat hoping that my extra lip gloss wasn’t a bad move.

Standing in the tightly packed crowd waiting for the 2 o’clock show I complained to my friend that my face was about to melt clean off in the heat and I wished I hadn’t thrown away that fan. Two young poofs turned around and fanned my face ferociously and I had this strange sensation in my bitter and twisted old soul. Thanking them profusely and feeling suddenly very glad I had gone to Mardi Gras I realized I was having an uncharacteristic moment of Gay Pride. Thanks guy’s!!

Then I saw that David Campbel was wearing even more make up than me and I thought. If he can do it then so can I. Cindy Pastel looked fantastic and Dallas was radiant as expected but after that the show looked a bit like drag soup. Some boiling ocean of flailing arms.

I loved Johnie and Paul Mac’s set in City Live and had a good dance in there and enjoyed watching the terror on the face of one of the security guards. 

I missed Olivia because i couldn’t get into the RHI which I wasn’t particularly bothered about. Most people said I didn’t miss much and apparently anyone who encountered her up close was most unimpressed by her Diva antics, with one member of the press later telling me she was a “CUNT”.

Determined the see Cyndi Lauper I arrived in the RHI at about 7. I’m so glad I fought off the urge to go home by chatting to friendly strangers and spiteful bitches. I loved Cyndi’s show and then I loved strolling home across the park, watching the muscle boys in hot pants walking hand in hand across the perfect gay rolling hills.  

Happy Murder Gras! See you next year at the alternative party. 

Quick and dirty has been a great platform for myself and others to have their work seen by an almost cohesive cross section of the queer community as it is today in Sydney. Thanks so much to everyone who came along to see what we have to offer.  I hope we can bring you something bigger and better next year. And I hope you will all come and see us in our other ventures through the year.  And not to worry,  this wont be the last you hear from me on this subject. I’ll keep you posted.  

Do you know how to say Generic Homogenized Faggot? Pardon my cynicism but i’m finding it a little tricky to smile back while you look down your perfect nose. 

Murder Gras does accurately represent and successfully entertain some parts of the community. The parts with sanitary pre blow floral scented cock wipes and anal bleaching. And good for them. How great must it feel to have your own arts festival. 

It’s just such a shame the rest of us are left scratching around the edges. Forced to settle for a short mention in the festival guide and no funding while Murder Gras ships stale and expensive Divas into town. 

Someone asked me why does everyone suddenly care about a festival that actively misrepresents the wider Queer community just because it’s turning 30? Why do we attend? 

I guess for me the answer is that it’s the closest thing there is.

A bunch of courageous Queers got bashed by police in 1978 and look at what a mess we have made of it. There is a strange new conservatism in our community and some directions that terrorize me. This gratuitous mime of white male dominated heteronormative society. It’s as though we are playing out a children’s game of making culture like daddy, complete with a social structure governed by classics like race and wealth. 

I suppose I care about Murder Gras and will go to some of the events because I have some hope that we’ll mature as a culture and I hope that I can contribute to those changes.

This Murder Gras I’m performing at Quick and Dirty at the Carriageworks on Friday The 22nd. It’s an event in the tradition of Club Bent which was always my favorite thing in the Murder Gras festival many years ago. I think this event is going to make it’s mark this year and become a respected part of the festival again. 

So I’m back in Sydney after a week and a half in sunny / not sunny Melbourne. I had a really fantastic time performing at Upstart Alley and catching up with a few old friends.  

Upstart Alley is a passionate and supportive event which nurtures actual queer art. Seeming uninfluenced by Melbourne’s famous concern for what is fashionable and palatable they put on an event which is truly queer and I strongly recommend to artists and punters.  

It’s always great to visit Melbourne to remind myself why I live in Sydney. I can never quite put my finger on exactly what aggravates me so much about Melbourne. Some air of pretension or overt self consciousness that always leaves me wanting.  

I think it’s clear that ultimately one is either a Sydney person or a Melbourne person and forcing any kind of cross pollination is foolish. In my six years living in melbourne I always felt as though the “Gay” and “Queer” and “Bear” scenes were so much more uptight than i had hoped for. Perhaps it’s me. Beware expectation for disappointment follows. Something puts me on edge.

Obviously I’m not welcome among “the gays” because i’m too Queer. Apparently I’m not welcome among the Queers because my work isn’t featured in some underground magazine thats about to be fashionable and I’m not welcome among the Bears because i’m too Queer.   

The great thing about Sydney is that we know were a seething a pit of filth and were not pretending to be anything else.

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I’ll be down in melbourne this weekend to do a show at Upstart Alley, part of Midsumma and the Transdestinations Festival. See you there.

I’ll be hanging around in Melbourne for a while to see some other stuff in the Midsumma Festival then i’ll be back in sydney to get geared up for Quick And Dirty at the performance space. 

Quick and Dirty looks like it’s going to be incredible event with so many of my favorite artists getting together to bring a truly queer flavor back to the Mardi Gras Festival.